Would-ah, Could-ah, Should-ah

For the rest of his days, Tom Watson will remember with regret the eight-foot putt that cost him The Open Championship. Along with that miss, he will think of the bogey here and a missed approach there that factored in. And many will not let him forget because they will lament, "What could've been?!"

Often we attempt to treat life like that of a sporting event - you either win or lose. However for many reasons, life is not that way. Although life has its limits, there are far more opportunities than 72 holes, nine innings, or four quarters. There are many opportunities to turn it around, to make a change and to finish as God would have you finish.

Yesterday, we looked at Lois and Eunice found in 2 Timothy 1:5. Specifically we studied what I called Parenting with Purpose not Guilt. Like Tom Watson, I have regrets - moments I could have handled differently, words I should have used as opposed to the words I did use, lessons I should have taught.....on and on and on. However, I still have a chance to parent, and I hope someday, grandparent with godly purpose.

Parenting with purpose can be summarized in the two actions these women took in the raising of Timothy: 1) They lived out their faith without hypocrisy. 2) They taught Timothy the Scriptures.

But what about the guilt often associated with falling short? What about the regrets? Should I live with regret and guilt at having missed parenting opportunities. Maybe. Maybe I did not live out with sincerity the faith that I expected of my kids. You were one person at church and another person at home. Maybe I did not take every opportunity to teach the Scripture and point my children toward Christ. There is much that competes with our teaching. However, I think that long-term guilt should not be a part of parenting because all people are held accountable for their own actions. Therefore if your kids did not grow up to make the right choices, they will be held accountable, not you.

Ultimately kids will grow up and become what they are going to become. They will do what they decide to do. And they will be held accountable for their actions, not your parenting. The book of Proverbs gives general truths on parenting. These Proverbs are not absolute promises. For instance Proverbs 22:6 is not guaranteed. Rather, it is generally true. Godly parents often raise godly kids. But sometimes they raise wicked ones and wicked parents raise godly. Thus the maxims found in Proverbs are just that, generally true.

One Proverb I would like to share in light of this discussion is Proverbs 1:30-33. Here we find that children who reject the training of the parent will be held accountable for their actions. Their decisions are on them, not on you the parent.

So parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, there is still time to parent with purpose. Sincerely live out your faith and teach your children the Scripture; always pointing to Jesus. And remember to leave your regrets on the playing field; for ultimately the child will be held accountable for their own actions; not your misses.

-Mark
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